Happiness Follows!
He is so happy to hear from you – every bit of the reaction in its fullest spirit. This is how he wanted you to react and to show your complete self in its entirety to someone, you will to be with forever in various ways at all levels without any doubt and suspicion. He really appreciates your leonine attitude in this regard. Now, that both of you are openly growling at each other and engaging each other in this battle of words to protect your individual selves, thus your individualities, and the mysteries; you are certainly going to have self satisfaction at very many levels leading you to equanimity. It is indeed worth praising and adventurous. Hurray!!
No doubt, he has hurt you beyond anyone’s imagination at various levels, but let him clarify his side that he did not do it to hurt you but to draw you to the concerns of a friend or a friend in the skin of opposite sex and the normal exactitudes of such a sensitive relationship; in which people find fullest joy brimming out so much so that to bear a being living with happiness and life; passing the same to the generations after generations. Otherwise, he really does not have any right to say about how you think and live this beautiful life. After all, who he is to you, he is just a traveler, forayer, and a foreigner in the robust journey of life. It is his [man’s] nature to travel, foray and explore the inner treasure of hers [woman’s]. It happens same in the case of hers [woman’s] too. Therefore, if you could see the negatives in his attitude and what he did to you through his scathy expressions both in written and spoken, it is because you have not seen it from the perspective of a being – just a normal being without attaching gender feature to that being. Please take his comments from a being’s [without gender attributes] perspective, and for sure, you will find lot of other positives. In the following discussion, he is presenting a fine operation on your comments and trying to show the other side of the body of the talk. Whatever, this discussion and further never ending future discussion will certainly lift both of you upper than, what you both are at this juncture. Please, bear with him.
Yes, it is this being, which lives in every body, thinks in every mind, and liberates in terms of every soul has given him the courage to talk like that. Because that being is the voice of all except none, the voices of that being is not an individual’s but a voice across all castes, creeds, colors, and genders. It must not hurt people, but show him or her a path realizing the meaning of happiness. The wonderful thing about his talk is that like any individual, he just expressed his concerns and expectations in this ethereal world from you in a sensitive relationship, and you are hurt; it is not surprising to him, because this is what happens when expectations are not met and hopes are wiped right in its budding stage. Now, when he expects these two beings to talk in the status just beings and listen to him from a third observer, it must not hurt you. Please forget that if you ever want to be in a romantic relationship but friendship, and be just two beings and see through it. Please, come out of the skin of man or woman and see his perspectives and consider his suggestions. It will soothe your pain and heal your self. Just try it out!
Then, his duty is not just to pamper you and flatter you time and again but also to critique your being. This is what he did. Yes, he was straight-forward, blunt and heartless doing so. Can you imagine open criticism without being heartless? And that hurts too. He acknowledges it and apologizes for being so. You must note that he has equally been caring and loving when occasion demanded and will always do in the times to come. He is not a coward, who attacks the back and shows the back, but a warrior full of vigor and bravery. He speaks into the face and attacks the chest and breast (He would love to use an expression less in its gender tones). Time testifies it.
And why shall he try to be your guru. He is in perfect knowledge of the fact, “Teachers (Gurus) have been destroying disciples (Shishyas), and disciples have been destroying teachers in turn. There is not need of either a teacher or a disciple.” He also agrees with the fact, “If you want to teach someone, then teach yourself; and if you want to follow someone, then follow yourself.” He has not made any effort to be your guru but he has tried to express what he thinks of, thinks about and thinks for.
Besides he also agrees with your concern about the traditional religions, but he does not agree with you that tenets of organized religions have nothing to offer. Rather he would say that Religion (no religions in any plurality, he does not accept it) has been misinterpreted or under-interpreted; and it is unnecessarily much more reflected on. It is entirely different domain of discussion; he generally would not like talk about it at this stage. Though, it is very much clear that you differ from him on this ground too. Both of you can have fruitful discussion on this much sensitive issue also in further communications. He would always like to talk about it once there is comfortable zone for both of you to do so. He also appreciates your interest in listening about it. You will soon get to discuss about it. To give a starter, he would say, “Religion is such a personal aspect of life that it need not be discussed in public. It is so personal that different members in the same family might practice different religions and still, find satisfaction at inner level and peace at the outer level so as not to give rise to any tension but only attraction towards one another.” He also stands with idea, “It must evolve from its current state as it has always been evolving, it will constantly evolve. Well, it was used to put larger wild mass of human beings into order in the yore from above, but now is the time, when there is no need of such an authority at least in the educated classes living in various quarters of the world, though it is the urgent need of the uneducated classes. Otherwise, there will be ultimate chaos. Religion in such case causes fear; and fear tames wildness. What is wrong about such an authority?”
And so far the growth of any sort in his being is concerned he is always open to do it. Do not you think that this encouragement to such a conversation and discussion along the varied lines of life with any being is part of his exploration – his dynamic growth? Who else can encourage these discussions but a learning being? There runs a quick quiz: Tell me who is brave and original? – either a questioner or an answerer. And he has questioned so many things. He did not feel personally attacked in any sense, when you indirectly or directly, intentionally or unintentionally talked about GREEN CARD and WHITE CAR. He did not feel personally offended. You must know that he rather thought it to be childish error on your part. Similar to a restless child insisting on buying a Barbie doll in the busy market taking all routes to convince his or her mother, you were trying to convince a being (Perhaps, you thought, “He is an Indian still in his innocent and ignorant state having no sense of these tit-bits. He is an easy catch.” May be, you would not think like it ever but at one point of time you did so. Ask yourself. Be honest and be a friend with me first.). Truly, he was not attacked at any level but he observes everything like a child trying to know everything around and learning from every event occurring around. He is a learning child maturing in thirties. And this child in him would never die, to tell you this fact. You will meet him time and again at many levels and at the beginning of his another life too, when he will cease to exist in this world.
Well, your operation around him and his friends, if you think that it was not a comfort zone for you to react actually the way you could have, you are indeed not the person who should come in his life as a life partner, but a true friend first and a being, who would like to do things in the way she could with comfort so as to make him proud of your being around. He never thought you to be a person who wants to be reserved in such situations. In fact, he has an American in his mind, who according to him is robust, straight-forward, ready to take any one head-on; and present his or her side without any reservations about anything in the way he or she thinks about anything at any point of time in any group at any level on any occasion. It shows that you do not fit into that scheme of an American. Though I understand it that the kind of your upbringing and socialization (particularly, patriarchy – a system which suppresses) has effected you in this way. I do not blame your for this. But after the realization of these various aspects of life and social institutions in which these lives thrive, one must learn how to fight these evil forces. Talking about it in any terms at any level and taking refuge in it would further encourage such devil forces and it will always live longer. Do not you think that you (woman) must not think about it and talk about it and rather attack it and shatter it into pieces? Having born and brought in this culture (American, I owe respect to it), you must have killed this diabolic force long back and emerged out as a being having no after-effect of your childhood memories.
There is no doubt that silence is wisdom. Though, this silence if maintained for longer than necessary always sends a negative signal. It becomes curse. The speech rules the roost and suppresses others in all the possible ways. Remember what Foucault says, “By the moment one speaks, he or she starts ruling. Thus, when I speak I rule.” He also suggests, “These voices must meet voices so that rulers do not get the suppressive mood through speech.” He would appreciate the resonating voice in such conversations and discussions rather. He is born and brought up in similar conditions, even worse than it is here. He is not patriarchic; otherwise he would not have liked encouraging voices of women in any form. He is rather encouraging you at all levels; and you are making excuses. He did not expect it from you. He would not give her the benefit of doubt.
Yes, this is where he is. He never meant you to wither and weep but come together and grow. What both of you have done till now (until you both started this journey of writing on mails) was nothing but all romantic – walking along the park and sitting in the grass, eating in restaurants and sharing drink and falling into each other’s arms. Do not you think that now that both of you have started communicating about each other’s concerns on various issues, you have started the journey of real growth and accomplishment. This is what he calls, “A real exploration of places and people”. It is a great exploration as deep as mind, heart, and soul. What do you say?
Now, it is up to you to cancel or break down the journey in between or continue it longer than life goes. He is always there to board any train of thoughts going to any destinations with you. You need to be boarded to see how this journey comes out to be. Otherwise once again in the non-patriarchic way with a true sense of a being without any sense of negative ‘-isms’, he gives you the freedom to either throw this ‘voodoo doll from Niagara Falls and watch it slowly float into the depths of darkness’ or keep it in the shining shelf made of your beautiful heart, thinking mind and spiritual soul. It is all up to you. He is always happy. He never wants to command people’s thoughts, visions, and actions. He gives you the true freedom. And this, he is saying keeping eye in eye. Can you see him? If you can, you are always welcome. You would always receive his respect and friendliness and everything you could till now, because he sees the world today, tomorrow and the world beyond. There is much to be unfolded! It is just a beginning! Where are you and why are you going? Come… come on… communicate with a being who wants to make your life a celebration!!
